Earlier this week B took me to the vet. It was a regular check up – time for me to get my rabies shot, check for heartworm and to make sure that I was in tip top shape. The visit began with its usual stresses. It is hard to believe how many other animals are at a place called “the animal hospital.” Cats, dogs, you name it, they were everywhere! It is not a secret that I do not like other animals, so waiting for our appointment was my own personal hell.
Before entering the examining room they weighed me. I weighed 26.3 pounds – the same weight as a really large turkey that you might serve at Thanksgiving for like 30 people. Dr. Buytenko seemed like a nice enough guy, though I must admit that he had some nerve touching me all over the place. I squirmed quite a bit, but there was no place for me to go as I was on a rather high table of stainless steel – not the most comfortable of places. So, the visit was going well, until the Doctor mentioned that I was overweight. I was devastated. Seriously, how over weight could I be? I regularly eat my cup of dog food and drink some water. OK, it’s true, I do eat some snacks and Hallie gives me an occasional yogurt cup to clean, but generally, I do not make a pig of myself (I mean no disrespect to pigs).
Dr. Buytenko suggested that I should lose some weight – you know, watch what I eat and perhaps exercise some more. His tone was so cold, like didn’t he realize that I was a dog and I had feelings? My whole body image is now out of whack – you would think that I have some huge “shank handles” the way he talked about me. I actually have some really annoying habits that have to do with food and they probably do not add one calorie to my diet. For instance, in morning, if Hallie eats that yellow cheese that is wrapped in plastic – I love to lick that plastic – I don’t really like the cheese. When the family eats dinner, I beg at the table, but not for food – I am hoping that they will give me their napkins – again not a high calorie food, but for some reason, I love shredding used napkins. Annoying? Right?
Well, as I enter the new year, like everyone else in the world, my number one resolution will be to lose some weight. This will mean an extra walk every night. The family and I had pretty much had given up that extra walk because of my fear of loud noises and the cold. Perhaps Hallie will buy me one of those thingies with the little red light. I use to love chasing that light – Lil Joe even made a movie of me chasing the light – that would be some good exercise. It’s just a shame that I will have to give up my care-free ways now that I have a weight problem. I wonder if there are plans for a season of the Biggest Loser that features dogs? Hmmmmm.